Freefall Read online

  But then he'd kissed her on a dawn-drenched cliff overlooking the Pacific and all the arguments he had spent days constructing collapsed like a sandcastle at high tide.

  He had fallen for her hard, hadn't been able to help himself.

  He thought she had returned his feelings. She had kissed him and laughed with him and shared her dreams, her soul, her body.

  And then she had left him without a word, only hours after they made love for the first and only time.

  Tom jerked his mind away from that particular memory, of silky skin and soft sighs and eager kisses. He didn't need to dwell on something so transitory, so ephemeral.

  Their moments together had been one tiny slice of time. Something that obviously had little meaning to her or she wouldn't have walked away so abruptly or offered excuse after excuse not to talk to him when he tried to contact her after she returned to New York.

  He should be doing his best to keep a safe emotional distance between them, not dredging through the murky waters of their past.

  It wouldn't be easy, he was very much afraid. Not when something about Sophie Beaumont still called to him as strongly as ever.

  Chapter 5

  This wasn't a bad way to spend a few hours.

  Sophie leaned back in one of the deep leather sofas in the media room of Seal Point and tucked a brightly patterned quilt around Zoe. The child nestled closer on her lap but didn't take her eyes off the animated Disney video showing on the huge plasma-screen TV.

  The controversial swim had accomplished exactly what Sophie had hoped. The physical activity seemed to have relieved the restlessness that had made the children cranky and out of sorts.

  Now they appeared relaxed and snug and were even laughing at some of the funnier bits of the movie.

  As soon as she returned from speaking with Tom, Zoe had crawled into her lap while Ali and Zach had claimed the floor, propped on a mountain of pillows they'd pulled from a corner of the room.

  The media room was the perfect retreat and looked as if it could easily accommodate a crowd of a dozen or more. The couch she and Zoe used was one of four arranged at angles on the sloped floor so occupants all had a clear view of the screen.

  Shelly had designed the media room, Sophie was sure of it. It was exactly her twin's style—cozy and comfortable and warm. A place designed for family and friends to enjoy time together.

  She could feel her sister's presence here in the plump pillows and the campy old movie posters framed on the wall and the fountain drink dispenser near the back wall.

  Zoe cuddled closer and Sophie smiled and pressed a kiss to the little girl's blond curls. Not a bad way to spend a few hours at all.

  How often had Shelly done this with her children? she wondered. Snuggled with them and watched a movie on a rainy evening? It seemed routine enough to the children that she had to assume it had been a frequent enough occurrence.

  Peter had enjoyed the Monterey social scene, she knew. But she imagined Shelly would have been much happier spending her evenings here with her children than out at cocktail parties and gallery openings.

  She sighed, wondering how she would ever nurture the children as their mother had, as they deserved.

  Shelly had been a natural at the whole motherhood thing. All she had ever wanted was a home and children of her own.

  When they were kids, she had gone everywhere with a pitiful little ragtag cloth doll Sharon had picked up at a yard sale. Shelly would have even tried to slip it into her backpack to take to school if Sophie hadn't caught her and talked her out of it.

  That part of her sister had baffled her, she had to admit, since it was one she definitely hadn't shared. Sophie hadn't been the least interested in dolls or playing house or dressing up. She preferred climbing trees or roller-skating or lying on her stomach in the grass and watching a colony of ants bustle across a summer sidewalk.

  She remembered thinking when they were kids how odd it was that she and Shelly could look so much alike but be so very different in their personalities.

  The one passion they both shared was books. No matter where Sharon dragged them, the first thing she and her sister did was find a library and apply for brand-new cards.

  She supposed a therapist would easily decipher that by escaping into books, both girls were looking for any way they could find to cope with the uncertainty and chaos of life with Sharon.

  Maybe that's why the idea of parenting three young, needy children terrified her so much, why she'd never really even considered having children of her own.

  What did she know about being a loving mother? Her only frame of reference for a parent-child dynamic had been with Sharon. Not exactly the most healthy of relationships. She couldn't bear the idea of ever treating a child with the kind of careless negligence she and her sister had endured.

  She didn't necessarily have to repeat old patterns, she reminded herself. Shelly hadn't taken after their mother—she had found her own way of parenting.

  And though Sophie hadn't understood this part of her sister—this maternal, nurturing side—with this beautiful child warm and soft in her arms, she was beginning to get a glimpse into Shelly's heart. In the past few days she had discovered a sweet kind of peace surrounding her when she was with the children, settling into her soul.

  She could do this, could take over where Shelly had left off. It would be the biggest challenge of her life but she would do her very best for Ali and the twins. No matter what Tom thought of her.

  Ah, Thomas. She sighed loudly enough that Zoe sent her a chiding look for distracting her from the movie.

  "Sorry," Sophie whispered. She tried to focus on the screen but her thoughts inevitably drifted back to him like loose kelp finding the shore. As foolish and futile as she knew her attraction to him was, she couldn't seem to control it.

  She couldn't believe that even with an entire decade and a million frequent flier miles between them, there was still something—some undefinable, inexplicable spark—that buzzed and popped between them whenever they were together.

  She had been intrigued by the thrilling power of it ten years ago when she had been too young and foolish to know any better. Now she was terrified by it.

  He was older now and far more potent to her psyche and she had a feeling he could leave her heart broken and bloody if she let him.

  As if conjured by her thoughts, the door suddenly opened and Thomas walked into the media room.

  "Hi, Uncle Tommy," Zach said from the floor. "Did you come to watch the movie?"

  He grinned down at his nephew and Sophie groaned at her reaction, wondering how something as inconsequential as a simple smile toward a little boy could send her stomach dipping and fluttering like a bumpy landing on a 747.

  "I tried as long as I could but I finally couldn't resist the smell of that yummy popcorn. Is there any left?"

  Sophie held out the huge bowl Mrs. Cope had popped. "Plenty. Sit down and watch."

  She expected him to take one of the other three couches in the room but instead he surprised her by sitting next to her and Zoe. She swallowed hard, trying fiercely not to notice the distinctive, tantalizing scent of him that reached her even through the buttery aroma of the popcorn.

  He favored the same aftershave he had used a decade ago, some undoubtedly expensive mix of leather, citrus and some other woodsy scent she couldn't identify. Juniper, maybe, or cedar. She wasn't any good at figuring out fragrances; she only knew that once she had smelled that same cologne in a Nice market and had stood at that stall for what felt like hours, her nose in the vial and her mind reliving every incredible second on that warm Seal Point beach with him.

  She wanted to close her eyes and just savor that smell and the heat of him next to her but she forced herself to keep them rigidly open.

  After a moment, Zoe abandoned her and climbed into her uncle's lap. He drew her close and settled deeper into the sofa while Sophie tried not to let it bother her.

  The children naturally felt closer
to Tom—he lived in the area and saw them far more frequently than she did. They shared a bond she would have to earn. Still, it smarted, she had to admit.

  With effort, she put away her hurt and tried to focus on the movie. After a few moments she reached for a handful of popcorn in the bowl next to her on the couch. By some quirk of fate, Tom reached for a handful of his own at exactly the same time.

  Their fingers brushed inside the bowl and a quick spark sizzled between them. Her gaze flew to his and she found him watching her, raw hunger in his eyes.

  She had a sudden, almost painful awareness of her blood pulsing through her veins, of her lungs slowly working to draw air, of her body stirring to life.

  She wasn't sure how long her gaze stayed locked with his, the movie and the popcorn and the children forgotten. Suddenly she was twenty again, young and foolish, swallowed up by that wild, terrible flush of first love.

  Some loud noise in the movie jerked her back to the present and her surroundings and she quickly looked back at the screen with a fierce attempt at concentration that she was sure fooled no one.

  * * *

  "Aunt Sophie, look! I went all the way to the end of the driveway and didn't fall down once!"

  She smiled at the pride in Zach's voice. "You're doing great! I knew you could do it."

  "And me too," Zoe chimed in, still tightly clutching Sophie's hand as if she'd be sucked away by the lightest of breezes if she dared let go. "I can skate, too."

  Sophie wobbled a little on the pair of inline skates she had found jumbled together in a box tucked into a closet of the children's big playroom. "You're both fantastic. I would have fallen on my behind a dozen times if you weren't holding me up."

  Zoe squeezed her hand even more tightly, nearly cutting off her circulation. "I won't let go, I promise."

  "Good." Sophie tried not to wince at her aching fingers and headed back down the driveway.

  Though the weather was still cool, the four of them were enjoying a temporary break in the clouds to play on the curved asphalt driveway at Seal Point. It was the perfect surface for learning to skate, as silky smooth as sea-polished stone.

  All day she had tried to keep them busy with one activity after another. She was learning distraction was important to the children in these first painful days of trying to cope with the loss of their parents.

  Even though their grief was always present—like the low murmur of the sea below them through the trees—the children were beginning to smile a little more often. It would be a long, painful process, she knew, but they were headed on the right path.

  She watched Zach and Ali skate ahead of them, their arms waving wildly to help them keep their balance. She would have liked to photograph all of them right here, with their faces rosy and the afternoon sun slanting through the coastal pines to brush their hair gold.

  She was debating whether she was up to the ordeal of taking off the skates in order to fetch her gear from upstairs when Zach and Ali switched directions and skated over to them.

  "I wish Uncle Tommy could see me." Zach glanced toward the house. "I should tell him to come out and play with us."

  "No," Sophie said quickly. "I'm sure he's very busy. Maybe after we practice a little more we can show him how we're doing."

  She absolutely did not want Thomas to come outside. Since the evening before and those intense few moments with the popcorn, she had been excruciatingly careful to keep as much distance as possible between them. She had sat through the rest of the movie in a still, wary silence, almost afraid to breathe for fear of touching him again and sparking more of those terrifying sensations.

  He seemed just as cautious. As soon as the closing credits started to roll, he had left the room quickly with a kiss and hug for each of the children and a strained smile for her.

  Since then she had scarcely seen him. They had passed briefly in the kitchen at breakfast but he had been with William and she had been busy with the children and they'd done little more than exchange hellos.

  This was all just so terribly awkward, she thought as she led her little entourage on another pass toward Seal Point's imposing iron gates. She wasn't sure of her place here, how to behave, what to do.

  If she and Tom had no history between them, things would be so much less complicated. They would simply be two people whose only link was the marriage of their respective siblings, and through that, these beautiful children.

  But she felt as if the past had imprinted its memory on every interaction she had with him. She found herself remembering things she had tried hard to suppress for a decade and she couldn't help but wonder how much he remembered of their time together.

  Did he also think of cool sand and sweet kisses and tangled bodies while the surf murmured around them? Or had their time together just been a regrettable period in his life? One he would prefer to forget?

  She couldn't read much in those silver-blue eyes of his. He was an expert at shielding his emotions.

  If she hadn't been distracted by her thoughts, she might have been able to avoid the catastrophe.

  Just as they reached the gates, Zoe's skate hit a small rock on the driveway. Off balance by it, she started to fall, tugging Sophie down with her. Sophie wobbled and did her best to stay upright with fifty pounds of force pulling her down. She might have succeeded if Ali hadn't rushed to help them both from falling. Somehow one of her wheels caught on Sophie's.

  Her fledgling skills just weren't enough to keep Sophie vertical. The skates went one way, she went another, and the hard asphalt driveway did nothing to cushion her fall.

  The breath whooshed out of her as Ali landed on top of her. For several seconds the three of them—Zoe, Ali and Sophie—lay tangled together.

  "Are you guys okay?" Zach skated closer to ask.

  Still breathless, Sophie managed a nod just as Zach's skate caught on the same blasted pebble that had been his twin's undoing. His downfall was almost an exact duplicate of Zoe's. He teetered for a moment and tried to maintain his balance then crash-landed on the pile of giggling females just as Sophie saw a dark sedan pull to a stop outside the gates.

  A woman in her mid-thirties with a short wispy haircut and a severely cut suit climbed out of the driver's side door.

  "Is everyone all right?" she asked through the gate, sliding sunglasses atop her dark hair.

  Sophie gave an embarrassed laugh. "I think so. No broken bones, right guys?"

  The children shook their heads, suddenly shy around a stranger. Hanging on to the gate, Sophie pulled herself up then helped first Ali and the twins to their feet before she turned to face the woman again.

  Their visitor had been joined by a man who had emerged from the passenger side of the sedan, Sophie noted. He was younger than the woman by perhaps a half-dozen years. Despite their different coloring—he was beach-boy blond to her darker hair and features—he wore a similar dark suit and had the same no-nonsense look to him.

  "You must be Shelly Canfield's sister," the woman said. "I'm sorry for staring. I'm sure you hear this often but I must say, the resemblance is startling."

  "We are…were identical twins." Would this grief that stabbed at her whenever she thought of her sister ever fade? "I'm Sophie Beaumont. Were you friends of Shelly or Peter?"

  Even as she asked the question, somehow she knew they weren't. Peter was a snob when it came to his friends and for some reason she doubted these two would meet his elitist criteria.

  "We're with the Federal Bureau of Investigation, Ms. Beaumont." The woman pulled a small leather case from her jacket pocket and flashed a badge that reflected the sunlight with a sharp glare. "I'm Special Agent Candace Herrera and this is my partner, Special Agent Tate Washburn."

  FBI agents? What would the FBI be doing here? Before she had a chance to ask, she caught sight of the children's subdued faces.

  Ali had reached out to hold Zoe's hand and Zach was clutching the edge of Sophie's shirt like it was a security blanket. They didn't need another reminder th
at their world had suddenly become a grim and frightening place, she realized.

  "I'm not sure how to work the gate from out here," she said quickly. "If you'll wait for a moment, I'll take the children inside and buzz you through from there."

  "Certainly," the younger agent said with a friendly smile and what she suspected was more than professional courtesy in eyes the same pure blue of the Caribbean. "We don't mind waiting."

  No one fell on the way inside the house. Her mind whirling with questions, Sophie opened the door closest to the kitchen and ushered the children inside.

  "Why don't you all find Mrs. Cope for a snack?" she suggested.

  Zoe's eyes widened. "Aunt Sophie, we're not allowed to skate inside. We'll get in trouble."

  "I know. You can take your skates off right here."

  While the twins sat on the ground and began unbuckling their skates, Sophie pulled their older sister aside. "Ali, tell Mrs. Cope you're starving from all that skating. I'm sure she'll fix you something yummy and I'll join you in a few moments."

  "Aunt Sophie," the older girl said, her voice low so her siblings didn't overhear, "Do you think they're here to talk about the accident?"

  Sophie forced a reassuring smile. "I don't know, honey. I won't know that until I talk to them."

  She didn't add that she had no idea why the FBI had any interest in a tragic accident on Highway 1. She squeezed Ali's fingers. "You don't need to worry about it. That's my department. Mine and your uncle's. You just go have a snack with your brother and sister, okay?"

  After a moment, Ali nodded and Sophie pushed the button to open the security gate for the FBI agents. While they were driving their car around, she slipped off her skates quickly and shoved her feet into her tennis shoes then rushed through the house to open the front door for them.

  The nondescript sedan pulled up in front of the house just as she reached the door and a few moments later the two agents joined her at the top of the wide flagstone steps.