A Cold Creek Christmas Surprise Page 11

  Letting this continue was vastly unfair to him until she could find the courage to admit the truth. They stood on either side of a vast, unbreachable gulf...and she was too much of a coward to even point it out to him.

  Despising herself, she gathered the last ounce of strength she had and eased away from him. “I... It’s late. We should probably both get some sleep.”

  For just a moment he froze, his expression still fierce and hungry, then he drew in a breath, his features closing as if he had slammed a door.

  “Yeah. It’s been a long day.”

  His voice was stiffly polite, and she gave an inward cringe, aware he thought she was rejecting him and hadn’t wanted him to kiss her.

  How could she tell him otherwise without telling him everything else?

  She couldn’t tell him she had never wanted anything in her life so much as she had wanted to stand here in the warm, cozy hallway and continue kissing this hard rancher whose slow smile turned her insides to soft, gooey taffy and who treated his daughter with such kindness.

  If she said any of that, he would ask why she had stopped things—and she would have to tell him.

  “Get some rest,” he said. “I’ll try not to wake you when I head out early in the morning. I’ll leave a note reminding Destry to keep things down in the kitchen, too.”

  “Thank you,” she answered, not knowing what else to say.

  He seemed like a remote, distant stranger now, instead of the intense, passionate man who had kissed her as if he couldn’t get enough.

  She slipped into his sister’s bedroom and closed the door carefully behind her. She waited, heart pounding, for him to walk away. It was another full moment before she heard his footsteps finally recede down the hall.

  * * *

  So he kissed her, Ridge thought as he banked the fire in the woodstove, then did the same in the great room before double-checking the locks and security system.

  She was a lovely, unattached woman. He was a healthy male who hadn’t been with a woman in entirely too long. Sharing a passionate kiss with her wasn’t the end of the world, for crying out loud.

  He was taking this rejection harder than he should. He had every reason to be decent about it. Sarah was a guest in his house. Beyond that, she was giving his family a gift of inexpressible worth. He could be polite, friendly, even warm to her, despite his disappointment and, okay, pissed-off attitude.

  She hadn’t asked him to kiss her. He had taken the initiative all on his own. While she had certainly kissed him back with undeniable enthusiasm—he hadn’t been without a woman that long that he didn’t recognize a genuine response when it licked his tongue—he still had no business being upset when she erected barriers between them again.

  While his bruised ego would like to help her pack up her suitcase and drive her back to the Cold Creek Inn for Christmas, he knew he couldn’t do that. He was a big boy. He could handle a little rejection.

  He would rather have a little awkwardness between them than the buckets of guilt he would have to carry around, thinking about her spending the holidays by herself in a hotel room simply because he had his boxers in a twist.

  The last thing he did to shut the house down for the night was flip the switch to turn off all the Christmas lights.

  He tried not to notice how the house seemed instantly colder—or how that chill suddenly matched his mood.

  Chapter Nine

  “I’ve never seen so much snow,” Sarah exclaimed on Christmas Eve morning. It created a vast white sea—wave after wave, engulfing fence lines, shrubs, anything in its path. Across the way, snow had piled clear to the eaves of an outbuilding.

  “The snowdrifts make it look a lot worse than it is,” Destry said, with far more experience than an eleven-year-old girl ought to have.

  “Do you think your father is okay out there?”

  Destry looked surprised at the question, as if it had never occurred to her before. “Sure. Why wouldn’t he be?”

  Sarah could think of a dozen reasons. Frostbite. A fall from the tractor. A sudden howling avalanche. She shivered, not wanting to think about any of them.

  “You must not have blizzards in San Diego,” Destry guessed.

  Sarah gave a rough laugh. “No. It’s never snowed there in my memory, and I’ve been there since I was just a little girl. I think I read once it’s snowed like five times in a hundred-fifty years. If we get more than a half inch of rain in twenty-four hours, people go into full-fledged panic mode.”

  “I love big storms like this, especially at Christmas,” Destry said, expertly flipping a pancake just right.

  The girl was amazing. Sarah knew fellow teachers who weren’t as self-sufficient in the kitchen as this eleven-year-old girl.

  “Why is that?” she asked.

  “Seems like my dad takes a little more time to have fun, you know? We go sledding and ride the snowmobiles and have snowball fights. I like it when he can relax a little more.”

  Her expression grew a little sad. “Of course, this year won’t be quite the same without Aunt Caidy. She and Ben won’t be back until after New Year’s Day.”

  “You’ll still have a great Christmas. I’m sure of it.” Sarah tried for a cheerful tone.

  “Yeah. You’re probably right. It’s going to be different, that’s all. We always spend Christmas Eve with just us and then we’ll get together with the cousins for lunch tomorrow on Christmas. You’ll like everybody, I promise. You already met Gabi and Trace, yesterday.”

  She nodded. “And Taft. He was one of the paramedics who took me to the hospital after my fall.”

  “Oh, yeah. Well, Becca and Laura are super nice and they have the cutest kids ever. Alex and Maya are Taft and Laura’s two. Alex can be a little stinker but even when he drives everybody crazy, we can’t help smiling at him. That’s just the way he is. And Maya is so sweet. She has Down syndrome, but that doesn’t stop her chasing after Alex for a second.”

  “They sound adorable.”

  “They are. And then Trace and Becca had a baby earlier this year. William Frank, after my grandpa. Little Will. He has these big fat cheeks you just want to smooch all over. We all fight to hold him.”

  It sounded wonderful and warm and perfect. She fought down an aching wave of envy for this girl who knew exactly where she fit into the world, who was surrounded by people who cared about her.

  Sarah didn’t quite know how to break the news to Destry that she wouldn’t be meeting any little fat-cheeked babies or cute little pesky cousins.

  She had made up her mind sometime during the night that she would ask Ridge to dig out her rental car so she could return to the inn. The snow had stopped during the night and now the sun was shining. Though the snow seemed impenetrable, she imagined the plows would have a path cleared to town. If she drove slowly, she should be able to make it.

  She would just have to be insistent, and if that failed, maybe she could find a taxi or something. At this point, she was even willing to walk.

  She had practiced a dozen different arguments through the long, sleepless night.

  While she didn’t really want to leave this warm, comfortable house, she knew it would be for the best.

  Yes, she felt an odd sense of belonging here at the River Bow, but she knew it was only an illusion. She could make believe otherwise but that didn’t change the cold, hard reality. She was an interloper at the Bowmans’ family Christmas and if they knew the truth about her background, none of them would want her anywhere near their adorable children, their holiday traditions.

  That was enough of a reason for her to want to leave. Throw in the inevitable awkwardness between her and Ridge she didn’t see how to avoid and she had even more incentive to return to Pine Gulch.

  “Here you go. Buttermilk pancakes with homemade chokecherr
y syrup.” Destry slid the pancakes onto a serving platter and pulled a little glass pitcher full of ruby-red syrup out of the microwave.

  “We pick the chokecherries every year along the river and Caidy and I make jam and syrup. I guess we’ll probably do that at her new house now with Ava and Jack. Those are Ben’s kids from his first marriage. They’re awesome, too, but I didn’t tell you about them since I knew they wouldn’t be there. They went with Caidy and Ben on their honeymoon.”

  “They took his children on their honeymoon?”

  “And Mrs. Michaels, their housekeeper. They went to Hawaii. Ben and Caidy didn’t want to spend Christmas without the kids, so they all went together, then Mrs. Michaels is bringing Ava and Jack back here while Caidy and Ben go to another island. Kauai, I think. I don’t know, I’ve never been to Hawaii. Have you?”

  “I went in college with some girlfriends,” she said. She and Nicki and a couple of other friends had spent four days crowded into a tiny hotel room on Waikiki. It had been crazy and chaotic—not to mention expensive!—but she had great memories of the trip.

  “It’s all beautiful,” she said. “I’m sure they’ll have a great time.”

  “I guess. Ava was excited to go shopping. But that’s Ava.”

  The Bowmans had this big, wonderful family, filled with interesting personalities. Under other circumstances, she very much would have enjoyed the chance to spend time with them all.

  Some things weren’t meant to be.

  She and Destry were finishing up their pancakes when they heard footsteps coming up the back stairs and the outside door to the mudroom opening.

  “That’s Dad. I’d better cook a couple more pancakes. He likes his hot.”

  Destry jumped up while Sarah fought the urge to press a hand to her trembling insides.

  A moment later, he came in wearing a green long-sleeve T-shirt and a pair of faded jeans that hung low on lean hips. He must have hurried out without shaving since a day’s dark growth shadowed his lower face and made him look appealingly shaggy and disreputable.

  “Hey, Dad! I didn’t think you’d be in until lunchtime. Are you done?”

  He smiled at his daughter—and while the smile might have encompassed her, it wasn’t quite as warm as it might have been the day before.

  “No. I finished our place and figured that was a good point for a break. I came in for more coffee and to see if you’re ready to suit up and help me dig out the neighbors.”

  “Sure!” she said, with an eagerness that Sarah found amazing in a young girl. “Do you want a pancake or two and some sausage first?”

  “Do you even need to ask?” he countered.

  Destry laughed and poured more pancake batter onto the still-sizzling griddle. Sarah could only imagine how much fuel it took to power all day long through a physical job like ranching.

  “I almost forgot! Merry Christmas Eve,” he said to his daughter.

  She grinned as she flipped his pancakes. “That’s just what I was going to say. I think I like Christmas Eve better than Christmas. I’m always so excited, all day long. Today we’re going on a sleigh ride, right?”

  “You’re relentless, my dear. I haven’t had time to look at the sleigh but I’m still going to see what I can do, I promise. After we clear snow.”

  “I know. Work hard, then you can play hard. You tell me that like every single day.”

  “So I should get to say it twice on Christmas Eve.”

  She snorted and scooped the pancakes onto a plate for him. “There you go.”

  He smiled at her with warmth and affection as she turned off the griddle.

  “I need to go put on my long underwear,” Destry said.

  “You can finish your breakfast first. I’m not going to take off without you.”

  “I’m stuffed,” she said. “I had, like, four pancakes and three pieces of sausage. I’m going to be lucky to fit in my long johns. Anyway, I want to get the work done so we can hurry to the fun part.”

  She took a long drink of her milk, wiped her mouth with her napkin then barreled out of the kitchen.

  The moment she left, taking all her energy and sweetness with her, an awkward silence descended on Sarah and Ridge.

  This was the first she had seen him since that stunning kiss, and she didn’t know what to say, where to look.

  “Um, have you had a chance to dig out my rental car yet?”

  He paused, mug of coffee halfway to his mouth. “Yeah. It’s clear. You going somewhere?”

  She realized she was fidgeting with her napkin and forced her hands to stop. “The sky is blue, with no more snow in sight for now. I imagine the roads should be clear by this afternoon. I can’t see any reason not to return to the inn for the rest of my stay, can you?”

  He set the mug down carefully, giving her a searching look. She could feel heat soaking her cheeks and really hoped she wasn’t blushing.

  “I thought we had you convinced to stay.”

  “It was a lovely offer and, believe me, I appreciate it. It’s just...it’s Christmas Eve. A time for families. I’m intruding, Ridge. You have been more than welcoming, but I can’t help feeling like I don’t belong in the middle of your Christmas celebrations. I had fully intended to spend the holidays on my own. I don’t mind. I would be more comfortable back at the inn.”

  As far as lies went, that was a pretty big one. The idea of spending Christmas by herself, staring at the walls of a hotel room—no matter how warmly decorated—left her feeling bleak and achy from more than her lingering headache and broken arm.

  The contrast between that image and the loud, chaotic, wonderful Christmas she imagined with the Bowman family was starkly vivid.

  But what other choice did she have?

  “Is this about what happened last night?” he asked after a long moment.

  She flushed. “Are you accusing me of running away?”

  “What else would you call it?” he countered.

  She rested her hand on her lap, unable to meet his gaze. “Put yourself in my place, would you? Suddenly thrust into the lives of strangers by accident and your own stupidity. You and Destry already had Christmas plans before I showed up, and I’ve complicated everything. I think the best thing all around would be for me to return to town and leave you to your plans.”

  A muscle flexed in his jaw, and his chair squeaked a little as he shifted. “And the fact that we shared a pretty hot kiss just a few hours ago has absolutely nothing to do with your sudden eagerness to rush back to the inn?”

  The memory of that pretty hot kiss flamed through her memory, fierce and bright as a flash fire. She had been up half the night reliving that kiss, his mouth hard and demanding, his fingers tracing patterns on her skin, those strong arms making her feel safe and cherished.

  She didn’t realize she was gazing at his mouth until his lips parted and he drew in a sharp breath. She jerked her gaze back to her hands.

  “Okay, yes,” she admitted. “I felt uncomfortable enough before, knowing I had intruded. Now things are even more...awkward.”

  He sighed heavily. “I’m sorry for that. I take full responsibility, Sarah. I shouldn’t have kissed you. You’re a guest in my home—and were injured here, to boot. I overstepped and I’m sorry. You shouldn’t feel any awkwardness in the least—it’s all on me.”

  “I didn’t exactly push you away,” she murmured.

  Something bright as sunlight sparkling on snow flashed in his eyes. “No. You didn’t.”

  That blasted color flared again, and she knew she must be as bright as one of the shiny glass ornaments on the tree. “I’m sure you agree it would be better for both of us if I returned to the inn.”

  “Maybe for you and me. But what about Destry?”

  She frowned. “What about Destry?”

&
nbsp; “This is her first Christmas without her aunt here. Her feelings are already tender. She likes you and considers you a friend. The two of you seemed to really hit it off, or am I imagining things?”

  “No. She’s...she’s a wonderful young woman. You’ve done a great job as her father.”

  “I can’t take much credit. Part of it was just the way she came and my family helped with the rest, but thank you. Our first Christmas without Caidy here is going to hit her hard. If you take off, too, who knows? She might feel abandoned all over again, poor thing. I’m sure you don’t want that.”

  She narrowed her gaze. “You do not fight fair, Ridge Bowman.”

  He grinned suddenly and unexpectedly, looking years younger. “Whoever told you I did? Not my brothers, I’m sure.”

  She sighed, accepting defeat. While she was sure he was exaggerating his daughter’s likely reaction to her leaving, she accepted that the girl missed her aunt in a hundred different little ways. The holidays might, indeed, be a bit of a struggle for her. If Sarah could help distract her for the next few days, how could she walk away?

  “Fine. I’ll stay a few more days, for Destry’s sake. That’s the only reason.”

  “Understood.”

  And no more kissing, she wanted to say, but she didn’t have the courage.

  Before she could change her mind or ask herself how she would endure even a few more hours with the two of them when they were already sneaking into her heart, Destry returned to the kitchen, bundled in snow pants, parka, hat, scarf and thick gloves.

  “Okay. I’m ready,” she declared. “Let’s do this quick, before I have to go to the bathroom or something.”

  “Whew. Good thing I just finished my breakfast since apparently we’re on the clock.” Ridge set aside his napkin and slid his chair back.

  “Will you be okay in here by yourself?” he asked Sarah. “We shouldn’t be longer than an hour or so, since I did most of the hard stuff yesterday.”